Frisky Buisness
by Lady Gata
Summary: Sesshomaru crashes his dad's car and decides to pay it back himself. A birthdayanniversary present for one of the coolest people in the whole world.
1. Shit

Sesshomaru stared at the door. His father had left through it a few minutes earlier and he was already bored. Staring at the door wasn't going to last him long. Fortunately his best friend Miroku walked though it wearing a big grin and a CBGB t-shirt.

"Hey big guy!" he trumpeted. "Daddy still here?" Sesshomaru shook his head. "Awesome. What do we do first? Pick up some girls?" Miroku's lecherous eyes sparked. Sesshomaru shrugged. Miroku's shoulders slumped. "What's your problem, man? We're young, rich, and don't have school for another month. Stop being such a downer! Hey, why don't we take your dad's car?" Sesshomaru looked up. The car Miroku spoke of wasn't just any car. It was a god among cars. It was the God-king of cars. It was-

"TESSAIGA!" screamed Miroku from the passenger seat as he and Sesshomaru sped down the highway. "Not your shitty old Tenseiga whose brakes only work at crosswalks, but the fuckin' Tessaiga!" Sesshomaru's long with hair streamed out with the wind and Miroku ducked to avoid it as the breeze picked up. "We have to find some girls. Ooh, we should go force Sango to come with us. I bet even she would crumble at the sight of this baby! It'd be worth the slap. Maybe we could convince Kagome to ditch your half-brother." A small chuckle escaped Sesshomaru's lips. "Sorry man, I forgot that Inuyasha and you don't get along. But hey, that Kagura chick likes you. How 'bout her?" Sesshomaru was starting to consider driving up to a certain someone's house when Miroku screamed, "WATCH OUT!" A possum ran out into the road and Sesshomaru swerved. The car skidded off the asphalt and onto the grass, rolling neatly into a deep ditch and smashing up the entire front of the car. Sesshomaru blinked.

"Shit," he said.


	2. What are we gonna do?

"This is fine," said Miroku as he paced furiously along the side of the road. "Your dad can afford it easy, but dear god he's gonna blame me and he's gonna kill me and your dad works out a LOT…" Sesshomaru stared numbly at the bill in his hands and listened to the sounds of Miroku rambling and the tow trucking pulling Tessaiga out of the ditch. Somewhere inside his brain something very tiny and sensible was afraid. Sesshomaru's father was a powerful man; the things he could do to punish his son complied an endless list. 

"SESSHOMARU!" cried Miroku desperately as he grabbed his friend's shirt. "We gotta get jobs or something and pay for this, quick! We can't let your dad find out. We can…uh…we can start a prostitution ring! Yeah, prostitutes make a shitload of cash."

"All right." Miroku froze in mid-plead.

"What?"

"All right," Sesshomaru repeated. "We will start a prostitution ring and pay for the repairs ourselves." Miroku stepped back.

"But…but…are you insane! HOW THE HELL ARE WE GONNA START A PROSTITUTION RING!"

* * *

Sesshomaru pressed the stapler into the side of the building. Miroku gaped.

'"Prostitutes wanted'?" he read. Sesshomaru walked away to post up another sign and Miroku ran after him. "You can't seriously believe that this is going to work!" Sesshomaru stapled up another sign.

"Why not?"

"Because prostitutes don't just show up, they have corners and stuff!"

"Scuse me?" Miroku and Sesshomaru turned away from the telephone pole. Miroku gaped. A woman as tall as Sesshomaru wearing a skirt that left little to the imagination and a shirt that said "for sale" over the chest waved one of Sesshomaru's signs. "You serious?" She blinked at them unbelievingly with big, bright blue eyes and pouted with full cherry-red lips.

"Yes," stated Sesshomaru, "but it is a temporary investment. The ring will only last for three weeks."

"And the pay?" asked the woman. "You seriously only want that much?"

"The cash is for repairs to my father's car, the Tessaiga. If I have the amount of prostitutes listed on the poster I should be able to pay it and you will make a considerable profit." The woman grinned and shook Sesshomaru's hand.

"You're a smart one, ain'tcha? I'm Candy and me an' my girls will be at your place tomorrow. Ciao!" Candy winked and walked off as Miroku wiped away the drool.

"It worked…oh God IT WORKED! I gotta go to the bathroom, man, see ya in a few."


	3. Plans

The sun shone through the beautifully designed French windows that looked out onto the front yard of the Taisho mansion. Sesshomaru drew the curtains and walked into the kitchen. The refrigerator was full of meat. Lunch meat, raw steaks, leftovers, and all the carbohydrates an Atkins dieter could ever dream of. Sesshomaru stared at it all thoughtfully. The Taisho's had a cooking staff, a maid staff, and several drivers as well as several cars. Whatever Sesshomaru wanted was at the tips of his fingers, and in the Taisho house a hungry man usually wanted meat. The doorbell rang and Sesshomaru left the refrigerator door standing open to walk back into the living room. He inched the curtains away from the window. There were about twenty prostitutes standing in the yard.

* * *

"Hiya!" It was Candy trumpeting at Sesshomaru, but Miroku was visible somewhere underneath her massive chest. The pervert had never looked so tiny. 

"Dude," he gasped, "this is so fuckin' fantastic! There's so many of 'em!" Sesshomaru blinked and opened the door wider, and walked up the stairs. Miroku dashed up next to him and a stream of prostitutes walked in. They slid their stiletto heels off and dropped down onto stylish couches, love seats, and lazy boys that adorned the Taisho's living room. Sesshomaru's father had acquired the house after he'd hit it rich and become a lazy business man. He hired four designers to decorate the house, and when they were finished he hired a staff to take care of everything else.

"That's how you get things done," was what he told Sesshomaru who had no clue what his father was rambling about.

"There are refreshments in the kitchen that you may help yourselves to," said Sesshomaru.

"This place is incredible!" cried a red haired prostitute as she stared around in awe. Miroku immediately went to her side.

"It has over forty bedrooms, a full kitchen staff and a full maid staff. I'd be more than happy to show you around; just you and me." The girl giggled.

"Your pervy little friend is cute, Mr. Taisho!"

"Do you really think so!" cried Miroku. "Tell me, have you ever considered giving up prostitution and getting married? Maybe having some kids? A LOT of-eurgh!" Sesshomaru slammed a glass of iced tea onto Miroku's head. It sloshed near the sides of the glass but not a drop spilled.

"Business," he ordered. "Everything will be run out of the mansion. As Miroku said, we have over forty bedrooms. Each of you can take two rooms to use as your own and pick once we have toured the mansion. You will decide on a rate for the clients but I will charge an advance fee. Are there any questions?" A well-muscled brunette with bright green eyes raised her hand.

"Yeah, why are we doin' this?"

"I'll handle this one," said Miroku smoothly. "You see, Mr. Taisho and I were driving down to volunteer at the children's hospital in his father's car because Mr. Taisho's car was having problems. A soccer mom crashed into the front of the vehicle and the woman was not insured, so Mr. Taisho kindly offered to pay for repairs. He is too ashamed to let his father know and so we are using the money for repairs." There was a short pause and the prostitutes broke into hysterical laughter.

"No really," said the brunette, "why're we doin' this?"

"Don't worry," said Candy, "Sesshomaru tol' me about it. They crashed his dad's car into a ditch and don' want him to know they drove it."

"Oooh," said the prostitutes. Miroku sighed miserably.

"Is everything clear?" asked Sesshomaru authoritatively.

"Honey if you can pull in the customers we'll take care of the rest," said Candy.

"Not a problem," said Sesshomaru.

* * *

Miroku's thick black address book was flipped open to the back. The phone finished its ring and a deep voice answered. 

"Hey Bram," said Miroku lazily. "Sesshomaru totaled Tessaiga and he's running a prostitution ring outta his house. No, he was driving, not me. Hell yeah I'm serious; there's twenty sexy, big breasted chicks comin' tomorrow. Then come down and check for yourself! I got calls to make, later dude." Sesshomaru entered the living room holding two cokes. "Hey man. This is less fun now that all the girls are gone. It was great when they were all here to yell stuff at the phone; everyone believed me."

"Just keep going," said Sesshomaru. Miroku flipped through his address book and yawned.

"We're gonna get most of our customers through word of mouth anyway. How're you keeping the mansion staff from ratting you out?"

"Threats and bribes."

"Awesome." Miroku popped open his coke. "Can I stay here tonight? My grandpa has passed out by now so the house is probably locked and I don't have my key."

"Fine," said Sesshomaru, "but we're staying in."

"I'm no complaining. The idea of hanging around sexy girls all day is nice but your dad still scares the shit outta me." Miroku downed half his coke in one go. "You really think we can pull this off?" A ghost of a smile touched Sesshomaru's lips.

"Of course."


	4. In jeopardy

About fifty young, rich boys with cash laden pockets and expensive clothes stood outside the magnificent Taisho house. They whispered doubtfully to each other and looked around the street curiously. Sesshomaru and Miroku stood in front of the door wearing slick suits and sunglasses. A velvet rope that looked like it had been stolen from a movie theatre was in front of the door. Neither boy moved, although Miroku wore a mischievous smile that twitched every now and then. The crowd grew quiet as several Taisho limousines turned the corner and stopped in front of the house. The drivers got out, opened the doors, and scantily clad prostitutes began to file out. They waved and blew kisses at the crowd as they walked in and Miroku grinningly held the rope aside as they entered the house. The crowd was frozen for only a short moment; the boys rushed forward and shoved bills at their hosts. Sesshomaru's mouth twitched. 

"Here we go."

* * *

Miroku and Sesshomaru were excellent bouncers. They organized the horny young men into a line very quickly and collected the correct fees without missing beat. There was one quiet moment during the day after the first rush of eager boys had dwindled but soon after they left (as satisfied customers of course) a steady stream of men of all ages began to poor in. Miroku found himself marveling at how lucky they were not to have attracted the attentions of the police, but he was soon proved wrong. Several male officers showed up, paid their fee, and went in. The boys took separate lunch and dinner breaks, and the doors closed at three AM, to reopen at ten. It was perfect. 

"Cheers!" cried Miroku as he and Sesshomaru toasted the day's work. "The way this is going your dad's car is gonna be paid off by the end of the week."

"Not the bribes," said Sesshomaru.

"Well that's the next week, week and a half. I told you prostitution was profitable!" Candy trotted in looking tired but pleased. Miroku straightened up.

"You boys are geniuses," she praised. "I've never seen two better business men. You're my new heroes, boys."

"Oh sweet lady," said Miroku promptly, "I would rescue you from a thousand dragons!" Candy giggled.

"I'll see ya, boys. Thanks again!" She slid on her stilettos and headed out the door. Miroku sighed.

"So perfect," he crooned.

* * *

Thus the week moved forward. Surprisingly Miroku's prediction came true; the Tessaiga was paid for and repaired by the end of the week, and Sesshomaru drove it home with Candy in the passenger seat as an advertisement to bring in more business. 

"Wow, man!" laughed Miroku as the line of the men outside the door cheered and wooted at Candy and the car. "She looks good as new; your old man will never know. And it's all thanks to these kind ladies!" He took Candy's hand and chivalrously kissed the knuckles.

"Why thank-you, my little charmer! Now, off the work!" She tromped off to pose for the crowd before heading inside.

"Work, work, work," groaned Miroku. Sesshomaru ignored him. Something had caught his attention. A young girl with short brown hair sat on the curb staring blankly at the line. The clientele had been mostly men so far but there had been one or two women. Whenever a female customer showed up Miroku got very nervous and had to leave, so Sesshomaru left his friend to play bouncer while he dealt with the girl.

"If you can't pay don't loiter," he ordered. The girl giggled and stood. Her familiar bright eyes lit up as she grinned at him.

"I've had too many boyfriends to try the other side," she joked. "Wow, was I clever just now? I sounded like Alenka…"

"Jill?" asked Sesshomaru calmly.

"Yershers! My friend Alenka, I think you know her, wanted to if you were really doing this but was too scared to come herself. Or maybe busy…or bored…I don't remember. Sango was curious too; she's gonna kill Miroku."

"I see," said Sesshomaru. "Well if you don't have any real business here then I have to ask you to…"

"JILL!" Miroku waved madly from the front doors. "HOW'S SANGO!"

"PISSED!" yelled Jill as she waved back. Miroku laughed nervously and began to collect money again.

"HEY! TAKE SESSHOMARU OUT FOR A BREAK!"

"What…no, I…"

"OKAY!" yelled Jill as she ignored Sesshomaru's protests. She grabbed his arm and dragged him off. Jill and her friends Alenka and Sango were three very odd creatures (but very strong; all of them had dealt Miroku some serious injuries) who didn't really fit in the rest of the crowd at school. There was no real reason for it; they were just three girls who preferred to do their own thing. Sesshomaru would never have met them if Miroku hadn't set eyes on the three of them at lunch. That was when everyone learned where Sango and Alenka met. They'd both joined the same martial arts class when they were eight years old, and could fight in sync.

Jill was about as strange as you could get, but she was so adorable that no one cared. It was a great survival quality for a high school student.

"Where are we going?" asked Jill as she pulled Sesshomaru away from the mansion. He struggled to walk gracefully and said nothing. "SUBWAY!" cried Jill, and took off with Sesshomaru dragging behind.

This felt incredibly stupid. It was beyond stupid, it was…_silly_. Sesshomaru was sitting there in a grimy old Subway wearing a slick black suit and a pair of sunglasses perched on his head while skinny teenage girls pointed and gawked at him. Jill didn't notice.

"Eat!" she ordered. "Running a prostitution-thingy must be hard work!" Sesshomaru sighed and picked up his meaty sub.

"I wonder why Miroku wanted to get rid of you," ranted Jill. "It's not like he can take a break and hang out with the prostitutes while you're gone." Sesshomaru had been wondering the same thing, but he remained silent. "Who knows!" mumbled the girl. Chewing and talking at the same time was an impressive talent, and Jill was a master. "So, why'd you do it?"

"What?" asked Sesshomaru blankly.

"Why'd you start up the prostitution-thingy?"

"Because its fast cash and I totaled the Tessaiga," he replied blandly. Jill dropped the small remainder of her sub.

"You totaled it?" she gasped. "When? I saw it in the driveway…"

"We had it fixed this weekend. The money coming in is for bribes and other expenses." Jill gawked.

"Wow…that's…wow. Alenka and Sango were pretty disgusted but I think they'd be impressed."

"Damn right we are!" cried a familiar voice. It took a lot to make Sesshomaru Taisho jump, but he jumped. Alenka and Sango were right behind him, and they were frightening. Alenka tucked a stray lock of dark brown hair behind her ear as she sat down next to Jill. Sango followed, and Sesshomaru felt cornered. Alenka grinned at him and clapped.

"Good job! You're a fantastic businessman, and you're good at exploiting women. She grinned evilly, and Sesshomaru glowered.

"You won't turn me in," he said sternly.

"No?" Sango leaned back threateningly as Jill watched in interest. "Why not?"

"These women were already prostitutes; I simply provided them with a business opportunity."

"An illegal one," said Alenka with an eye roll. She picked up Jill's chips. "Cool it, Fluffy. We won't rat on you." Jill grinned, but Sango was shocked.

"We…we won't?" she hissed. Alenka shook her head.

"Nope. If Sesshomaru gets caught then it'll be his own fault; not ours."

"Yay!" cried Jill. Somewhere in the depths of his brain, Sesshomaru relaxed. These girls were not the type who could be bribed, and their snitching could have proved fatal. Sango looked a bit perturbed by her friend's decision, but she shrugged it off. Alenka was the leader of the three girls (an obvious choice because Jill was incapable of making decisions and Sango had a tendency to act rashly without thinking) and so Sesshomaru returned from his lunch break happy to have her approval. Miroku really was a sly fox; he deserved a reward.


	5. It's the scene!

"The keys to your dad's bar?" whispered the pervert as if saying the words too loudly would make it unreal. 

"I owe you for keeping the girls out of our business," said Sesshomaru. Miroku held the keys close to his heart and smiled.

"So warm…so alcoholic," he murmured.

"Don't overdo it," warned Sesshomaru. "I need you sober tomorrow."

"I promise to be a good boy!" cried Miroku before racing up to the top floor of the Taisho mansion. Some people have mini bars at home where they can have a drink at the end of the day. The entire top floor of the Taisho mansion was an enormous karaoke bar that had almost every kind of beer, ale, and wine that had ever existed. Champagne bottles were stored in a giant refrigerator and the large counter hid the makings for margaritas, martinis, and any kind of drink that you could dream up. Three of the best bartenders in the world came in at 7 PM, ready to give you any kind of drink that you desired, and they didn't leave until 3 AM.

"Heaven!" screamed Miroku. "All we need are girls…but I'll settle for a martini." One of the bartenders hopped into action. Sesshomaru requested a glass of cognac while Miroku strolled over to the sound system. It was, like everything in the Taisho mansion, the best. Miroku put on "I love Rock 'n Roll" and danced back over to the bar.

"Now this is living," he sighed. The night progressed through many songs and drinks. Moonlight spilled through the magnificent skylight and onto a wall clock; 2:35 AM. Miroku, wearing nothing but a pair of socks, a clean white button-up shirt, dark sunglasses, and (thankfully) underwear slid out of the bathroom.

"I am jungle man!" he yelled drunkenly. Sesshomaru sighed.

"And I am sending the bartenders home early." Miroku pouted and flipped his sunglasses up onto the top of his head.

"We're celebrashing," he slurred. Sesshomaru carefully grabbed Miroku's arm and pulled him down the stairs.

"It's bedtime."

"Okay, mommy…night night…" Miroku collapsed on the stairs. Sesshomaru slung his friend over his shoulder and headed away from the bar.

"I can't wait for morning."

* * *

The sound of Miroku retching was not music to Candy's ears. 

"Damn…well, Mr. Taisho, I'll care of him until your friends get here. I feel like I owe you anyway."

"Thank you." Sesshomaru hurried outside where the queue waited. After only four admissions a disgruntled girl shoved through the crowd.

"Wait in line!" yelled a very randy man. He froze in mid-yell, and cowered.

"Listen, you fucked up horny little toad of a man!" hissed Alenka. "I'm not here for a show, so unless you wanna hold the hair of a MALE vomiting teenage pervert you can shut the fuck up!" The line moved aside to give Alenka a clear path to the door. "I hope you like 5 AM Sesshomaru, because I don't," she spat.

"We had to increase our hours due to popular demand. I am grateful," Sesshomaru replied dully.

"You better be; Jill and Sango won't be here until eight!" She stormed into the house and the crowd of men reformed their line. Inside the mansion Candy thankfully let Alenka tie back Miroku's hair.

"There's a hangover cure sittin' on the coffee table, hon, so have him force it down once he's done."

"I will," sighed Alenka.

"Thanks, sweetie. Off to the salt mines!" Candy blew her a kiss and walked off. Alenka shuddered.

"No offense, dearie, but prostitutes creep me out," she mumbled.

"Not me," sighed Miroku. His squinted eyes widened and he turned back towards the toilet.

"Karma," said Alenka.

"This is humiliating!" grumbled Sango as she unlocked Miroku's cashbox. "I'd better get well paid for this."

"You will," said Sesshomaru with a complete absence of reassurance. Sango sighed.

"The bouncer for a whore house…where did I go wrong?"

"Cheer up!" said Jill brightly as she watched the queue grow. "At least you're not with Alenka." Sango chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess." At noon Alenka sidled down the stairs and announced that Miroku was fast asleep. She also took over for Sesshomaru.

"If you take Jill to lunch I'll call it payment for me and her," said the weary girl. Before Sesshomaru could object Jill had dragged him off again, this time in the direction of Quiznos.

"This is fun!" chanted Jill as she played with several toothpicks. "I don't have to do anything!" Sesshomaru shrugged. "So, how'd Miroku get so drunk?"

"I let him at my father's bar." Jill cackled.

"You guys have a weird friendship! Alenka and Sango would never do anything illegal but you and Miroku do that kinda stuff all the time."

"I suppose we do."

"Alenka says it's sweet," continued Jill. "She told me that Miroku doesn't really have a family, just his pervy, drunken grandfather and that he sees you as his family. Sango thinks you're both just pervs. But me, I say you two are just like the three of us." Sesshomaru blinked.

"Why?"

"'Cause your lives revolve around your friendship! I dunno what I'd do with Alenka and Sango…be bored all the time, I guess." Sesshomaru was stunned. It didn't show on his face, of course, but in his mind he realized that this klutzy girl was exactly right.

"Would you like to have lunch tomorrow?"

"What?" Jill gaped at Sesshomaru's blank face.

"Would you like to have lunch tomorrow?" he repeated.

"Sure!" Jill beamed. And, just like that, the girls became part of the routine. Sango and Alenka worked with Miroku and everyday Sesshomaru went to lunch with Jill. And paid, of course.


	6. Oh fuck

"This is our final meeting because tomorrow is our final day," said Sesshomaru. "The expenses are paid and everything is taken care of, so after tomorrow we will not see each other again." 

"It's sad," said Candy. "This was a lot of fun. The girls and I are gonna miss it!" Twenty prostitutes nodded their heads. A few even cried.

"Mr. Taisho returns the day after tomorrow," said Alenka authoritatively, "so everyone has to be out by midnight tomorrow. After that the house gets cleaned and that'll be it." Miroku sighed.

"I'll miss you ladies so much!" Sango whacked him lightly on the head with a cashbox.

"Any last minute questions?" she asked sourly. The prostitutes all shook their heads. "Good. Get some sleep and we'll see you tomorrow." They filed out as Alenka stacked the cashboxes and handed them to Sesshomaru.

"See you tomorrow, boys," she yawned. The remaining girls followed her out, leaving Miroku and Sesshomaru alone.

"We really did it," sighed Miroku. "Hey, since tomorrow is the last day, d'you mind if I have a little fun?" He winked.

"If you can find someone willing," said Sesshomaru. Miroku punched the air happily.

"Yesss!" he cried. "I've been waiting for three weeks for this! I'm going to bed; tomorrow is gonna be a big day. Night, dude." Miroku walked off towards the guest bedroom that he currently occupied.

"Big day," repeated Sesshomaru. He shut the curtains and turned off the lights in the living room. "Big day."

* * *

Morning dawned, and the mansion opened its doors to the queue of horny young men for the last time. Sesshomaru and Miroku made sure everyone knew this was the final day before sending them off; if anyone showed up on Saturday it would be a disaster. Jill showed up around noon. 

"Big day," she announced. Sesshomaru winced inwardly. Alenka stepped in to cover his post.

"Have fun," she said with an enormous wink. Jill and Sesshomaru strolled away from the mansion.

"Er, Sesshomaru…" said Jill slowly. "This was really fun. But I sort of have to be honest, because Alenka's been poking me about it forever and…I…um…I've had the biggest crush on you forever and Alenka and Sango have been trying to see if you'll go out with me," she blurted. Jill turned bright red and stared at her feet as they walked.

"So you'd like our lunches to continue?" asked Sesshomaru.

"Well, yeah."

"Good. So would I, perhaps with the addition of some dinners and, if you wish, movies." Jill froze.

"You…you wanna go out with me?"

"Yes."

"With me?" she tried again. Sesshomaru nodded. "You…with…"

"Are you hungry?" Jill blinked confusedly.

"Not really…oh!" She grinned. "Nope!"

* * *

Lunch breaks are too short, as are days. Miroku scooted around the Taisho's kitchen looking for something that wasn't meat while wearing a sad expression. 

"It's all over in just a few hours."

"Miroku?" The pervert turned to see Brandi, an adorable prostitute with a gigantic chest and blonde pigtails, standing in the doorway.

"Yes, dear?" She giggled.

"The line's getting shorter outside and well…Sesshomaru said you deserved a reward for helpin' him out…"

"Are Alenka and Sango minding the line?" cried Miroku.

"Yeah…"

"Let's go!" He grabbed Brandi's hand and dragged her to the guest room.

* * *

Alenka yawned and locked a full cashbox. 

"To your left, thanks."

"Sesshomaru and Jill still aren't back," said Sango.

"Just relax; they're probably making out somewhere. That was our goal, wasn't it? Or at least Jill's." Sango shrugged.

"I'm just a little worried. I mean, d'you trust Sesshomaru?" Alenka grinned.

"Not one bit. I trust the fact that he knows we can kill him, and I trust Jill." Sango laughed.

"To your right, sir. Good point; I guess they'll be okay."

"Shit…more cars are coming," said Alenka. "It's getting late; we'll have to start turning people down." Sango frowned.

"That's odd. Aren't those limousines?" Alenka dropped her cashbox.

"Oh fuck. Run, Sango. Now."


	7. Are you?

Miroku couldn't be happier. He was kissing a beautiful blond prostitute who he didn't have to pay…so why wasn't he happy? Miroku pulled back. 

"What's wrong?" asked Brandi. "Do you need me to help?"

"What? Oh! No no, it's not that," said Miroku. "I just keep thinking about someone else."

"Oh, well I don't mind that," grinned Brandi.

"No, not like that. It's just…I should be happy with any woman, shouldn't I? But…"

"But what?" asked Brandi as she massaged Miroku's shoulders.

"I can't stop thinking about Sango!" he cried. "I can't believe this, after all these years I'm still in love with Sango!" Miroku stood defiantly. "I have to tell her, now!" Brandi dangled over the side of the bed as Miroku ran over and opened the door. "I'm coming, San…"

"WHERE IS MY SON!" thundered a deep voice.

"Oh dear fucking god above," whimpered Miroku.

* * *

The queue was gone, as were Alenka and Sango. There were was a stretch limousine and some trucks that probably held baggage outside the mansion. Jill clung to Sesshomaru's hand. 

"This looks bad," she said. Sesshomaru pulled away.

"Go home," he ordered. "I'll either meet you tomorrow or no one will ever see me again." He strode bravely into the house. There were signs that several people, possibly with their pants half pulled up, had left in a hurry. The maids were cleaning it all away. Sesshomaru walked around the chaos and up the stairs into the living room.

"Hello, father," he said. "You're home early." A burly man with long white hair, amber eyes and a beautiful face stood and watched his son carefully.

"Be honest," he sighed. "Are you still a virgin?" Sesshomaru looked his father straight in the eye and said,

"Yes."

"Good. I'm staying at a hotel tonight, so when I get home by tomorrow this place better be clean."

"Of course," said Sesshomaru. He watched his father leave and then headed for his own room. It had been a long day.


	8. Epilogue

"Meet Jill." Mr. Taisho blinked in surprise as his son's girlfriend attacked him with a hug. 

"It's great to meet you, sir!" she yelled. Behind Sesshomaru, two more girls giggled.

"I'm Sango, Miroku's girlfriend," said the one with the longest hair. She shook hands with Mr. Taisho once Jill had released him.

"You're brave," he boomed.

"Thank you sir," laughed Sango. Alenka stepped up.

"Hello, sir! I'm Alenka, and I'm nobody's girlfriend. I am, however, everyone's keeper." She shook Mr. Taisho's hand as well.

"It's good to know someone is keeping them in line. All right; I'll get out of your hair. But remember, the bar is locked!"

"Thank you, sir!" the friends yelled together. Once the door had shut behind him all three girls burst into laughter.

"Jill, you are so cute!" cried Alenka. "I knew he'd love you."

"And that wasn't so scary, now was it Miroku?" chastised Sango.

"No, sighed Miroku halfheartedly. "But you see what I mean, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do," grinned Sango.

"What're you guys waiting for!" yelled Alenka. She was up on the karaoke stage.

"YAY!" screamed Sango and Jill as they ran up to join her. Miroku sighed.

"Two of them are no longer single, and still you can't break them apart." Sesshomaru chuckled. "What's funny?"

"You just reminded me of something Jill said."

"LET'S GO!" cried the girls. Miroku and Sesshomaru ran up to the stage.

"Ready?" asked Alenka. Everyone nodded, and the girls grabbed their microphones.

"I AM JANE AND LOVE TO RIDE AN ELEPHANT!" Miroku immediately sailed in on lead vocals.

"My name is Tarzan, I am Jungle man."

"The treetops swing in jungle land!" echoed the girls. The music continued on but the microphones were silent. Alenka stepped discreetly on Sesshomaru's foot.

"…for a swing," said Sesshomaru. Jill's voice rang out with;

"LET'S GO HONEY I'M TINGLING!" Sango and Alenka sent Sesshomaru matching death glares before joining in on the chorus.

"Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong. He's really cute and his hair is long. Tarzan is handsome Tarzan is strong so listen to the jungle song! Oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-yeah!" Miroku danced around energetically but Sesshomaru remained stiff and monotone.

"I am Tarzan from jungle you can be my friend."

"Oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-yeah!" yelled the girls.

"I am Jane and I love to ride an elephant!" cried Sango.

"When you touch me I feel funky!" Miroku reached over towards Sango and ended up flying off the stage.

"I feel it too when you're touching me!" she sang angrily. Alenka and Jill sniggered in the background.

"Come to my tree house to my party," said Sesshomaru. There was a hint of laughter in his voice. Miroku shot him a harassed look and climbed back onstage.

"Yes I'll go if you carry me!" yelled Jill before jumping on Sesshomaru's back. He struggled in surprise and hoisted her onto his shoulders. Alenka and Sango had collapsed into a fit of giggles so Jill carried the chorus.

"Tarzan is handsome, full of surprise. He's really cute and his hair is nice!" She petted Sesshomaru's head as the girls picked themselves up and joined in.

"Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong so listen to the jungle song." The song broke into a kind of dance break, and Jill ordered Sesshomaru around the stage.

"Whee!"

"Go cheetah, get banana, hey monkey, get funky!" yelled Miroku. He repeated the phrase and the dance break ended.

"When I am dancing I feel funky," sang Miroku; now lost in the song.

"Sesshomaru, are you okay?" asked Jill as she slid off his shoulders. He was panting.

"Why do you keep ignoring me?" yelled Alenka and Sango. Jill ditched Sesshomaru for her friends.

"Come over here and kiss me baby!" Miroku winked at Sango, but this time it was Alenka who pushed him offstage.

"Would'ja could'ja kiss me tenderly?" sang Sango as she smirked.

"Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong. He's really cute and his hair is long. Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong so listen to the jungle sooooong!" Another dance break burst in, and the girls boogied around the stage while the boys analyzed their injuries. At the end everyone stepped up to the mike.

"And so they got funky. But will Tarzan have Jane? STAY TUNED!"

Happy Anniversary and Birthday, Jilly!


End file.
